Subject: girlfriend schedule
From: Praveen Gupda
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2008 9:55 AM
To: Emily Rosenberg; Brenda Bishop
Now that Rebecca is gone, you two should coordinate how you will divide your time to keep me company.
One of you can take Tuesday through Thursday and the other can do Friday-Sunday (I need Monday to go to the Laundromat and pick up dry cleaning).
Or you guys can alternate days.
Let me know what you decide. I can make a spreadsheet for you guys if it will be easier.
Thanks in advance and GO YANKEES.
[Names have been changed. –MM]
Filed under: Love, Fun
Subject: lux nightmare, only you can help me now!
From: Sean Smith
Date: June 3, 2008 11:01:58 AM EDT
To: Lux Nightmare
Dear Miss Lux
A couple of weeks ago I was idly looking through flickr, searching for “girls” and “hot tub”, as you do when it’s a rainy afternoon and you’ve a few hours to kill.
That’s when I found this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/robboudon/748044706/
I believe that’s you in the green statue of liberty hat. Now you’re a lovely young lady and all but I’m afraid to say my attentions were completely taken by… Rupi!
A quick search led me to this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/billcammack/727292370/in/photostream/
Oh what smouldering looks!
Then to this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/billcammack/727303852/
(I took some aspirin at this point. It didn’t work.)
And then even to this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/xiliafaye/853670510/in/set-72157600904305952/
(She makes eating a hot dog look good and I’m a vegetarian…)
So put me out of my misery of ignorance. Who is Rupi? If I came to New York from my London home, where would I find her hanging out? Would she set her black belt in karate boyfriend on me for being a weird stalker…?
Let me assure you this is not spam.
Sean
Filed under: Love, Sodom, Lux Nightmare
Subject: MABTW Comment
From: biatch
Date: Tue, May 27, 2008 at 3:35 PM
To: Dick Masterson
dude, you are a bitter man.. :p
i’ve never laughed som much before in my life.. :D:D
you made my day, little man ;¤
soo, i just wonder.. are you ugly? have you ever been laid? were you bullied by girls when you were a little boy?
hahahaa, i feel sorry 4 u.. ;¤
well, did you know that research has prooved that the “man-chromosome” will not be needed in a few years? by few i meen 150-200 years time…
hahaha, i bet youre ugly :¤:¤:¤
Filed under: Hate Mail, Dick Masterson
